Lay it down

I lay it all down tonight. My "rights" to privacy in the bathroom, or silence when i am on a call, or a clean house or painted toes. They are all being put down tonight. My rights are representations of the old me. The who i was but not who i am or who i am called to be. I have been looking back longingly at that old me of singleness and "freedom", and as God has been trying to free me of that selfish person i have been fighting Him every step of the way. But tonight i will not fight. The greater blessings of little feet and little arms of love running to me and tackling me far outweigh a manicure. The sweet voices saying "thank you mommy for taking to mcdonalds" or my 4 yr old telling me "you're a good mommy" are so much better than any so called freedom of before. I am astonished by my selfishness and so so thankful for a loving Father who patiently continues to work on my heart and love me even in my ungrateful states. The joys and tears of marriage and motherhood are a great adventure and where i am called to be now. Just as the joys and tears of singleness were the adventurers i was called to in the past. I will live in this present adventure whether it is a glorious hug from my children or dirty diapers being dragged across carpet. This is beautiful and i am thankful to be God's beautiful mess.