The Potty Reality

I am ashamed to say that today i somewhat accidentally knocked down my 3yr old son. He was the final obstacle standing between me and the potty. We had just arrived home and while doing my adult version of the pee pee dance, i unbuckled three car seats and carried the infant, and unlocked the front door. I am sure that any woman who has birthed children understands my desperation at this point. I had just finished pleading with my 18 month old to get into the house (leaves are much more fun than inside) when i just could not hold for another second. Dropping all bags and darting over toys (which my offspring insist on scattering in every entry and hall) i shouted with as much urgency as possible "MOVE! MOVE!". At which point my children all hear "get in front of mom and move as slowly as humanly possible". After precariously making it past two children, my third just got caught in the fury of mommy's bladder. I tried to just get around and lightly tap him to move over. But no he fell to ground in true John Stockton style crying foul. I apologized profusely and tried to explain that when i say move it means move out of the way. What i really want to tell them is "mommy has given birth to four of you in four years. I must move with the speed of a cheatah to the potty. Anyone in the way is likely to be run down - so MOVE!"

Forgiveness

I never thought forgiveness was all that hard until marriage and parenting. It is shockingly difficult to forgive someone who does not even realize they have hurt you and with whom you see daily. It is even harder to forgive yourself. My failings as a wife and mother are glaring to me and impossible for me to forget. I wonder if my inability to forgive myself is why i am easily angered or hurt by those i love. I think i so desperately want them to help me or make it easier for me not to fail, but then they are human too.